Dr Kisseadoo writes: Nuggets of Gold

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Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo

Nugget Of Gold #1 Text, context, and pretext

A text without a context becomes a pretext. If you pick or quote a text to make or support your point, ensure that you interpret and apply it in the right context.

A High School boy once tried to make his point that smoking cigarette is accepted in the Bible. When asked to show the text, he quoted portions of Psalm 18 that said: “God appeared with fire in His mouth and smoke in His nostrils.” Wow! What a classic example of pretext!

Some Christian husbands like to compel and control their wives to obey their instructions, respect them, and satisfy their desires by Quoting: “The Bible says you must submit to your husband”. But, the husband will not take time to fulfill his marital role to care for the real needs of his wife, and patiently listen to the woman, forgive, become gentle with her, encourage her, and love her as the Bible also commands which will consequently invoke love, respect, and submission in the woman for the man.

Some women also want the men to love and care for them “according to texts in the Bible”, but the lady will not make diligent efforts to develop and show the required cooperation and respect for her husband.

If we do not quote texts and interpret things in the right context, then we will always de drowned in a sea of pretext. If we do not strive to fulfill each part of an agreement that requires us to fulfill our roles, become cooperative, and work towards unity, peace, sacrificial love, and mutuality, then several quotes will become text that have been transformed into pretexts, that ultimately make us into selfish individuals that are fake, unproductive, and hypocritical pretenders. 

Nugget Of Gold #2 Rainy days are as good as sunny days

Anyone who cannot benefit from the value of trials and difficulties, will not truly benefit from the value of victory and success.

Who does not love bright and sunny days? I do like them, and you do love them too. But, do you know something? CONTINUOUS SUNSHINE WITHOUT ANY BREAK WILL PRODUCE A DESERT. Therefore, we need some rains from time to time. Thank God for the sunny days, and for the rainy days as well!

The diligent farmer is praying for the rains to fall on his crops in order for us to obtain high yields and better food supply; while you are simultaneously praying for clear sunny days in order to enjoy your outdoor recreation and other activities. Question: Whose prayer should God answer first? In His wisdom, the Almighty creates the right balance, and makes all things beautiful in His time. So, be grateful to God for rainy days, even if it happens to rain on your parade.

The truth is that IF ALL THE DAYS WERE HOLIDAYS, THEN VACATION WOULD BE MORE TEDIOUS THAN WORK! Huh!

In this life, what happens to us or happens around us is really not the final factor that matters most; it is rather HOW YOU HANDLE the things that happen --- this is what matters most, especially when it rains in the middle of your sunny day.

Friendly advice: Please make it a point to lovingly, humbly, patiently, carefully, wisely, and prayerfully interpret and handle your favor, success, opportunities, enjoyment, challenges, and trials. Seek for wise and godly counsel where necessary. Then you will be prepared and poised to adequately understand and properly deal with the trees that could suddenly fall across the roads of your goals, plans, successes, favor, and pleasures. In that case, you will not be surprised, confounded, deflated, or paralyzed by the roadblocks, storms, and torrential rains that could come down heavily on your typical sunny day.

In reality, as you travel along the highway of life, I have discovered that if you have a plan and a purpose, set your goals properly, maintain your focus, keep moving forward, and look to the actual Sunshine (Jesus Christ) in faith, then all the shadows that obstruct your vision will fall behind you. Anytime you see darkness and shadows before you, it means you have turned your back to The Light that is supposed to lighten your path for success.

Nugget Of Gold #3 Be a good communicator – be silent and listen

A great Leader once said “Better be silent and be thought of as a fool, than to speak and clear all doubts”. That is true in a number of circumstances.

We are often told that silence is golden. But silence could also be cheap “charcoal” or “dirt” too, with no real value, especially when your silence has an ulterior motive; or if it has fear or I-don’t-care-ism (apathy) spirit behind it.

The fact is: DISHONESTY IS NOT ONLY TELLING LIES; BUT IF YOU KEEP SILENT AND GIVE US THE WRONG IMPRESSION, YOU ARE BEING DISHONEST AS WELL. On the brighter side, SILENCE GOES WITH GOOD COMMUNICATION, because LISTENING is a very important part of EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION. EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS ALWAYS YEARNING FOR SOMEONE WHO WILL LISTEN TO HIM OR HER.

As a counselor, I have noticed over the years that several people consult me in order for me to primarily listen to the details of their story rather than offloading all of my tons of advice and admonitions on them. This is typical of women, especially several women who have not really had any listening ears from their fiancées, parents, and especially husbands.

When you train yourself to be silent while I speak, you can learn more, analyze me appropriately, understand my sentences or words better, perceive my thoughts adequately, and sense or detect the real spirit behind my speech. Your silence can give you better insight to know if I am being truthful, providing you with outright lies, merely dancing around the subject, joking, giving you half-truths, or exhibiting my ignorance.

We are so ready to talk first and exhaust all that is within us all the time, to the point that instead of listening to the other person talking, we are rather busily rehearsing what we are itching to say without giving any room to be listeners.

We often open our mouths too quickly and too loudly --- usually without thinking. I believe that SOCIETY IS CRYING FOR MORE THINKING TALKERS. We seem to have too many TALKING NON-THINKERS. This is a significant contribution towards many of our disagreements, quarrels, misunderstandings, misinterpretations, misconceptions, and misinformation.  Something in us deceives us to think we know it all, so we have all the answers to give to everybody, without respecting what others can give to us. Even Jesus (who knew us from our mother’s womb) learned how to be silent before Pontius Pilate and His critics.

But, do not force others to listen to you; you will open the door for them to close their ears and minds silently and fool you. Focus on presenting your truth lovingly, humbly, consistently, wisely, and gently. Be an attractive talker, and leave the listening to the other person you are communicating with.

Do you realize that the dog has many friends because it has learned to wag the tail more than wag the tongue? Learn to control your tongue and listen. I can assure you that people will love you better when they know you have listening ears for them, even when no one would listen to them. Then you can get along with many people, and more people will be interested in you for dating, courtship, marriage, friendship, conversation, sharing of their personal matters, work, business dealings, ministry, counseling, fellowship, programs, and other forms of partnership.

In fact, YOU CAN WIN MORE BATTLES IN THIS WORLD IF YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO.

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By Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo (Professor of Biology, Ordained Licensed Minister, International Evangelist, Bible Teacher. Relationships, Marriage, and Family Counselor), Virginia, USA. E-mail: kisseadoo@msn.com.  

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